leggings

i just found your leggings in my closet. the leggings that i borrowed on the night of our first party, our first sleepover… our first time.

i remember picking them out of the last drawer on your dresser, i remember it like it was yesterday. the leggings drawer: the cluttered mess of black clothing, the thing you had so many of but needed more.

I remember me being scared in your car at the party because it was my first time and no one had made me feel like you did at that moment.

i remember you peeling them off of my freshly shaven legs, the legs that i hated but you grew to love. you asked me if i was scared and i said no. i was scared, but you made me feel safe and ready. afterwards, you put my clothes back on because “no one ever puts clothes back on someone after they take them off”

i fell in love with you a little bit more after you said that. that made me realize how old of a soul you are, and how caring of a heart you had.so when i pulled these leggings out of my closet, i was unsure of who’s they were. i smelled them and my heart stopped, my lungs stopped functioning for a second. and then i was reminded of that night.

these are your leggings, and they are all i have left after the war, the battle that i lost. the battle that defeated my heart and opened up wounds that are incurable.

you may have won the war, but i have these left to remind me of the nights we spent together.

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