i dont know why i still feel like this.
why i still dream about your touch in the middle of the night. why i wake up every morning hoping that you messaged me while i was sleeping. why i am still in love with you. why i crave the sound of your voice. why i miss your laugh.
i dont know why i miss these things.
why i miss your sheets and how they feel on my legs. why i miss your room and its lights. why i miss your car. why i miss the lunches with you. why i miss the rides with you. why i miss the little things that usually dont matter. they give me nightmares.
i dont know why i still talk about you.
why i feel little twinges of pain when i hear your name. why i feel hope when i say your name. why i talk bad about you in hopes that one day i will hate you. i cant hate you, by the way.
i dont know why i still write to you.
why i speak on here like i am talking to you, although i bet you dont even read these. why i type these words and continue to dwell on the past.
its been five months since you left me, but i still feel like it was yesterday.
i dont know why i am doing this but it gives me hope.